How Watching "The Interview" Became My Patriotic Duty

Happy Holidays America!

Great Christmas this year, family all gathered 'round the tube following a feast of epic proportions, post prandial cocktails, and a bong load or five... to watch "The Interview".

Really, I can't think of a better way to spend Christmas; loved ones together, a table groaning with the weight of more bounty than the average North Korean will see in a lifetime. 

If they're lucky a North Korean, they might see as much food as we enjoyed in one sitting, in the totality of their lives.

Ponder on that for a moment.

Now take a look at any one of the thousands of photos of Kim Jong Un littering the pages of newspapers around the world.

Remove the ridiculous 1950's Mao suit, drop him in some baggy jeans, plant a Dodgers ballcap tilted sideways with the E.R.A. decal still stuck on the bill down on hs dome, and he looks like any other fat kid strutting down the street in Koreatown L.A. 

Kimmy, 5' 3" and 240 pounds, with a 48" waistline, looking for all the world like a walking talking blackhead ready to puss purge under it's own pressure, is one amazingly fat Asian. Even here, where one has unlimited access to Mc Donalds et al, does one rarely take in the sight of an Asian man of such corpulent scale.

Like his grandfather and father before him, it's pretty clear dude hasn't gone an hour without stuffing something down that portly piehole.

So when given the opportunity to see a film by Seth Rogen and James Franco, and the super hot Lizzy Kaplan, satirizing the assassination of this human caricature; who could resist?

Normally I would have, not being one of those people who go to the movies on Christmas Day, it would have been quite easy to miss this film.

Until Kimmy and Co. decided to tell American's what we can watch.

For that reason alone, I paid the $14.99 to BUY the film, rather than rent what will surely be a onetime viewing. Unless of course Kimmy throws another psycho tantrum, then we'll be forced to institute a national day of "The Interview".

Fuck You Very Much Kimmy,

American Reality Party

The night they tore old Russia down...

One of my favorite songs growing up, "The Night They Tore Old Dixie Down" by The Band, keeps playing in my mind as I watch the price of oil fall through the floor.

Only Russia takes the place of Dixie, the time of course will be summer of 2015, rather than the "summer of '65". The song's protagonist Virgil Kane, will be any number of dudes named Ivan; called by one of their anonymous wives, to watch live on TV as Vlad's helicopter peels away from the Kremlin as the peasants storm the gates. Just as Virgil witnessed the defeated Robert E. Lee retreat to Appomattox for the final battle of the Civil War.

Vlad you were warned.
Russia, you were also warned, now it's up to the last remaining vestiges of your demoralized democracy movement to activate the cells in your military.
Really you're only hope to stave off the imminent starvation of your economy, and your people will be to remove Vlad; and remove him quickly.

Cease your Ukraine folly, return your troops to Russian soil, and rejoin the realm of civilized cultured nations.
There's still time before implosion, but at least one of you dithering fools needs to act decisively.
Tolerance for the midget Vlad has come to an end.
There really is no need to make millions suffer for the hubris of one, is there?

You decide.

Just Lie a Little...

How was your experience in signing up for the Affordable Care Act?
Personally, I've yet to do so.
Why you may ask, is that the case?
Well, after several phone calls with boiler room bullshitters, I found out that I cannot get immediate coverage today, even if I pay for it today.
Unless, I'm willing to lie and say that I've experienced a major life changing event in the last 60 days.
Guess what's not on the list of major life changing events for health insurance coverage?
Illness.

That's right people, if you're recently hired, fired, married, or divorced you qualify.
But if not, you only have to lie about it, pick one of the above; nobody is going to verify it.
At least that's what I was just told by Lighthouse Insurance.

So you might ask, "what's the big deal", lie and sign up.
I'll tell you why, there was no guarantee that verification would not happen, there was no opportunity to even ask a question, as the Lighthouse broker rudely interrupted when I tried to ask, more than once, because she already knew what I was going to ask.
I love people who are smarter, and more perceptive than me, they make my life so easy....

That call was the last I will field with regard to this piece of legislation indenturing me to an insurance company.
After all, if a lie will get me covered, a lie can also uncover me.

National Park Internet Surveillance Service

Thank God for those tax payer paid web monitors employed by the National Park Service, the Bureau of Land Management, and the National Forest Service!
Without their active internet surveillance of social groups like the Central Valley Hikers Group, a Meetup Group based in Fresno Ca., we would never know about the sinister terrorist attempts to take advantage of the public lands we as taxpayers have paid so dearly to collect.

And continue to pay dearly for their upkeep.

I'm guessing this is what becomes of the hall monitor.
You know, that dweeb in school who was constantly getting pantsed in the hallway, or having a fearsome wedgie wrapped around his Dumbo like ears. Yeah that guy.
He's busy checking out Meetup Groups, that he would typically be excluded from after one visit, just as his sparkling personality revealed itself.

For those of you reading this blog who are not familiar with the Valley, we are the gateway to Yosemite, Sequoia, and Kings Canyon National Parks, arguably the finest in the West.
Should you visit any of these parks, there's a good chance you'll be passing right through Fresno and or several other surrounding farm towns that feed this nation and the world at large.

For those not familiar with Meetup; it's a nonprofit website to the best of my knowledge, that provides a platform for people to form social groups based on their shared passions and pursuits.
The Central Valley Hikers Group, is just that, a group of individuals who gather together to hike, backpack, and otherwise enjoy the bounty of our local parks with other likeminded individuals.

No one collects a fee for scouting, planning, or leading any hike within the group.
In fact, every action taken by any event planner in the group, has been entirely free.
The only money exchanging hands is between those who are riding and those that are driving for the sole purpose of sharing fuel and park entry costs.

But now, we have the hall monitors rearing their ugly heads again, in a vain attempt to label this group a for profit enterprise. Thereby requiring, entry permits for the group, insurance, and basically any other money grab these government trough feeders can think of to screw us out of our right to use what we have already paid for, and continue to pay for.

Central Valley Hikers Group follows to the letter every law, and rule regarding the rightful usage of our local parks, both state and federally administered. Furthermore, the fact that we rideshare and follow a strict "pack it in pack it" out philosophy, ensures that we as a group have a far smaller impact on the areas we visit, than do the masses of single cars holding one to three individuals meandering through our parks tossing their trash as they go.

Trough feeding hall monitor, hear me now believe me later, we are the best friends you have in the park you administer. To alienate us only serves to prove that you as a trough feeder have placed yourself in the "Us vs. Them" position.
Remember, there's a lot more of us, than you.

Ikraine, Ukraine, Wekraine

Czar Vlad, saw the pics of you greeting farmers in the fields of Stavropol, sporting jeans and a shirt. Very glad to see you opted for the shirt this time; still reeling from the searing shock on my eyeballs of your last episode of soft white bellied political porn"Vlad's Gone Bad". When shit like that comes creeping across the screen during lunch, it makes even In 'n Out a challenge to finish.
Dude you're short, you're stumpy, really kinda dumpy, with a face so forgettable if you didn't have Russia by the throat politically you wouldn't merit a passing first glance. Let alone a serious look.
JFK you 'aint.

Once again though you've demanded, and received our attention little man, so please share your myopic midget's vision of Russia's economic sphere of influence.
But first, can I suggest something new for you Vlad?
Go for something a little less Soviet/Czarist Re-Tread, and maybe something a bit more modern day Russia Realistic. That means, at least to most of us around the globe, that you start work on reeling in the thuggery and graft at home, before you coerce 'er I mean entice other Fourth World Countries to join your fiefdom. It's really your only legitimate hope to attract some other megolomaniac running a poor misfortuned former Soviet sub-state.

Unfortunately, that's the only path you know, because that's Russian history in a nutshell.
Rather than make a compelling offer of cooperaiton based on mutual benefit, you're trudging down the turgid path of lead or gold. Lead for the peasants and intelligentsia of any given target of conquest, gold for the overlords who implement your plans for re-conquest of lost empire.

History repeats itself again, though this time not in the media vaccuum of times past.
In real time we're all treated to the un-abated wholesale blitz of propaganda from both sides, along with ghoulish footage of slavic brothers killing each other at the whim of a kleptocratic-sociopathic dwarf.

Like I said Vlad, something new would be welcome.
Here's my suggestion; declare yourself retired, allow real democracy a chance to gain a foothold.
Then just hang back, enjoy the bazillion dollars, and equal amount of euros and pounds sterling, you no doubt have squirreled away around the globe. Everyone knows Russian banks aren't worth a shit.

Washington Redskins?

The saga continues...
Today the US Patent office announced the cancellation of 6 trademarks associated with the Washington Redskins NFL franchise owned by Daniel Snyder.

Not the first time this action has been taken, later overturned by a judge who couldn't see where the term "Redskin" could be interpreted as disparaging.
I wonder if Mr. Snyder who is Jewish, or the judge who made this decision (probably Jewish), would consider the term "kike" disparaging, as applied to themselves?

How about the "Washington Kikes", or the "Washington Oligarchs", "Washington War Mongers"?
Any of these three examples, and many many more are far more appropriate than "Redskin" ever was.

Next inevitable step taken by Mr. Snyder, will be to send his attack attorneys after this decision, in his ongoing effort to maintain the racist status quo of his team and the NFL.

Mr. Snyder, do you really wish to be cast in the same light as Donald Sterling?
You know the guy, he just had his NBA team yanked out from under him as he disparaged the very people who made him his billions from sport; while establishing he and his wife Shelly as the poster children for all that ails America.
The two of you, or three if we include Shelly, have a lot in common.
Donald's been the laughing stock of the NBA forever, while wielding a reputation as the worst owner in professional sports. Your tenure as owner of the Washington franchise, though shorter than Donald's, has yielded some pretty spectacular fails, in a very short period of time.
Those snickering voices in your head? Those are your NFL peers.

However the true question remains, are you the same kind of arrogant, racist oligarch believing as Mr. Sterling does, that he pays for everything? Even the right to denigrate, humiliate others less powerful than himself?

Mr Goodell, will you take a similar action to Mr. Silver's of the NBA?
Acting decisively without hesitation, Mr. Silver lanced the boil from the NBA's ass that the Sterlings always were. If you ask nicely Roger, Mr. Silver might loan you his needle.
At the very least, your first move should be to gang the other owners up into a cabal that will force a name change, failing that your next course is regime change coupled with a new name for the team.

Like moving the goal posts to the back of the end zone, it makes sense.

ACLU vs. Fresno City, County, Stupidity

To paraphrase Gomer Pyle: "Welll gaawwleee, as if a blind man didn't see this a comin'..."
If you know Fresno, the way I know Fresno, then you know Gomer's a perfect metaphor for this backward looking, 19th century agro slave camp.

People so thoroughly imbued with the governments War on Drugs Kool Aid campaign, that they can't see the truth for the haze of hate they've helped perpetuate.

Then we have Fresno, both the city and county governments, a perfect example of local overreach.
Here, and in other neighboring counties, those in power filled up on that sweet concoction of deceit and loathing for the peoples will, have taken an approach to circumventing that will, by enacting a system of illegal health and safety "code violations" against otherwise law abiding citizens.

Using Fresno's official reasoning; that these home grows promote violent crime, brings up some interesting points for us to discuss.
For instance, I'm willing to bet that more violent crimes take place at locations like liquor stores, bank ATM's, shopping center parking lots, and college campuses, than have ever occurred at grow houses.
Taking the official Fresno concern a step further, why aren't they also shutting down these establishments?
If you people in charge are truly interested in our wellbeing, why aren't you focusing your efforts where the stats show enforcement needs?
And we haven't even begun to talk about the ongoing car theft plague, the rotary doors at Maggie's jail, and the way we allow sex offenders to leave the cozy confines of prison, where they should reside for life.

Guess what Fresno?

This is going to go as well for you as the shopping cart episode.
Bean counters, yeah you people writing the checks for these entities, warm up your pens, because you're going to be writing a lot of checks, for a lot of dollars.

There goes your Fulton Mall street to nowhere Ashley.
Maggie, you may have to put off the quarter million dollar redo on your office as well.

The ACLU, the courts, and the people who pay your outrageous salaries, particularly your salaries Maggie Mims and Jerry "photo op" Dyer, are going to send your antiquated ideas of law enforcement packing into a more appropriate setting. Perhaps, a museum on poor bureaucratic judgement and prioritization.
We could call it the Fresno Museum of the Ostrich, with dioramas of all the county and city wigs with their heads buried in the sand.

Why yes my dear, our government does lie to us

Have you ever read the comments posted alongside columns from your favorite online news source? If you're like me, a rabid news junkie, you do, and you probably throw your two cents in as well when a topic of particular interest makes print. For me, that playground includes, this blog, the NY TImes, the LA Times, BBC, CNN....
Of late I've found real enlightenment in some of the insightful comments made by my fellow citizens in the NY Times. Other comments fall into the real entertainment category, I want to discuss one such blurb today.

My favorite new comment came from today's NYT, and it made the esteemed Editor's Pick list; it's esteemed because they have also shown the good sense to select some of my comments for the honor...

Today's comment by Micoz, from Charlotte N.C., can be seen at nytimes.com under the column titled "Memo Approving Targeted Killing of U.S. Citizen to be Released".
This comment finds my funny bone with the writer's characterization of Barry's administration.
"It is the way of this administration to lie, cover up, deceive, and hide the truth from the American people."

Really Micoz? You're going to hang that dangling chad on Barry alone? Open your eyes, clean the wax from your ears, and for God Sakes man pay attention.

You have been lied to, from the moment you exited the womb. Remember your parents telling you how smart and good looking you are? Shortly thereafter you began lying too.
Welcome to the real world.

It matters not a whit who sits in the oval office, doesn't matter if he's from the right, the left, or outerspace.
You know why?
Because the very nature of competitive nations vying for dwindling resources in a highly overcrowded world, demands that state secrets be kept.
End of story.

Due Process, What Due Process?

Residing in Fresno these days, makes a person wonder if he's living in the USof A, or has he timewarped into another place at another moment in history. It's been almost 20 years since California was the first state in the union to legalize marijuana for medicinal use, allowing patients to grow their own medicine. Now the county of Fresno is actively working to obstruct the law that we citizens enacted.

The County and City of Fresno have conjured up a mythical marijuana growing ban in direct contravention of the peoples wishes and Prop 215. Taxpayers who defy this illegal action will not have their cases heard in a court of law, but rather before the board of supervisors who ramrodded this highly questionable bit of legislation through. Conflict of interest much Fresno?
This my friends is a direct attack on your Bill of Rights. As guaranteed by this hallowed document, no person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or PROPERTY, without due process of law.


In the simplest terms possible, just for you Chief Jerry Dyer, Sheriff Maggie Mims, and the Stooges who sit on the board: You cannot take peoples property unless you charge them with a crime in court, and they are found guilty. Unless you're the IRS, they're omnipotent.

These are the same fools who decided it was in the county's best interest to steal the belongings of the city's homeless people, remember the outcome of that debacle?
Fresno city and county ended up paying millions to the agencies supplying shopping carts to these citizens, as well as compensating individuals for their lost belongings.

In essence what we have running this community are a group of Nazi's whose only wish is to run rough shod over your rights.

Law enforcement in Fresno acts as if all the crime they fight is rooted in pot; that if there were no marijuana grows, they would be living in fat city. Reality is, crime was rampant before, still is, and has little or nothing to do with marijuana growing. Or when it does, the authorities just want to cast a harsh light on pot as the cause. "This house would have never been targeted if not for the grow activity..."
What about home invasions that have nothing to do with weed? Car thefts? Murder?
When did crime with a hint of herbal essence become so much worse than the ones that just stink?

Don't people who live and work in the community, also pay taxes that support law enforcement? Even if they grow weed, legally? In other more simplistic terms, one more time so the meaning stays at the level this team works on; just go do the jobs you're paid to do. If a perp does a B&E on a grow house, that crime scene should be treated as any other. Arrest the aggressor, return the property to it's owner, and move on to the next case.

People of Fresno, the hardest working, straightest talking folks I've ever known; whether or not you support medicinal marijuana in your town; you have to ask yourselves a few questions.
With the rest of the nation now following, and in some cases surpassing California's lead on the issue; of course we're talking about straight up legalization in Colorado and Washington:
Are we willing to allow our elected leaders to sink our city/county in yet another ACLU law suit?
Wouldn't it just be better to follow Colorado's lead, and start making money; rather than flushing it down Maggie and Jerry's enforcement toilet?
Do we really prosper as a community with leadership that lives in the last century?

Think about it Fresno.

Putin, Erdogan Two Leaders Two Losers

Haven't weighed in on Turkey before, but now it's just too tempting with Erdogan's Twitter ban.
Getting the opportunity to skewer two losers in one colummn, fucking priceless.

Just as was witnessed in the years leading up to WWI; two backward looking leaders treading the loose soils of barely there nations, Russia and Turkey, have jumped to the fore of states teetering on the brink of anarchy. Of course we don't count Africa, North Africa, or Egypt in the group, because even in the best of times anarchy reigns in these basket cases.

Sultan Erdogan, 'er I mean Prime Minister, you've been caught with your sticky little hand in the baklava tray, your son, your cronies and their kids, are all circling the bowl in the final flush. Ergenekon is crashing around you like the waves that took the Titanic, and recorded calls between you and your son detailing your profligate corruption, fascinating in the extreme.

Equally fascinating, that you head a party founded on the precepts of integrity, and truth. Yet when the harsh light of day shines on that truth, you turn to the mechanisms of the police state to repress those who would hold you accountable. Then hamhanded in the way of Putin, you attempt to shut down dissent along with Twitter.

What is it with you tiny little trolls? It would seem the old saying that absolute power corrupts absolutely, should have your's and Vlad's photo's in the tome next to the definition.
You two are just this years faces, we try to keep them current. The space where the American Presidents face would be; that's an avatar with the caption"insert photo here".

Ceasefire!

Wow that was quick Vlad, stopping the sanctions fire the way you did, is it because you want to work things out? Or is that sinking realization hitting you, that whatever sanctions your ginormous backwater of a fourth world nation can issue, may only effect other fourth world economies like yours?

Vlad Russia needs the rest of the world badly, the rest of the world can do nicely without Russia, if nothing else the Cold War proved that. But you know what they say Vlad, the definition of insanity is to repeat bad behaviours, and expect a different outcome each time. You Vlad meet this axiom head on.

Given your career in the KGB during the collapse of the former empire, one would think that perhaps you might try something new, rather than repeating the same mistakes that lead to the demise of the USSR. Clearly that's not the case, instead your improv act on the world stage just copies the same sorry, lack of imagination and intelligence of your predecessors.

Your act is old Vlad, freshen that shit up a bit, bring something relevant to the game. I mean really, don't you have the slightest capacity for original thought? You're as tired and worn as Hollywood's endless remakes of past films, with the resulting product a mere shadow of what came before.

In other words, as much as you want to be, you're not Stalin Vlad, nor do your people venerate, or fear you in the same way. Perceptions around the world are of a miniature megalomaniac, beady little eyes so close together you're practically a midget cyclops, with stubby little fingers poised on the launch button of a nuclear arsenal so poorly built and maintained; that should you push that button, no one really knows what to expect.

One thing's for certain, push that button, and your fourth world last century, pile of bullshit country will die with you at the head of the pack.
Vladhole.

Vlad's Last Gasp, or the U.V.M.S Union of Vlad's Mafiosi States

Yeah the title's a bit premature, but a guy can dream right?
Talking about the last gasp part, not the U.V.M.S. The U.V.M.S portion is all too real, and all too scary for the real world, the one Vlad apparently vacated a few years ago.
Is anybody really grasping the fact that Vladhole is risking WWIII, because his crumbled empire really really doesn't want to be pieced back together again?
Vlad, the former USSR is Humpty Fucking Dumpty.

All your Russian biker gangs, and military without insignia, can never ever reassemble the omelette of your youth. That egg dish was consumed a lifetime ago, unfortunately not your lifetime.

Around the world, everybody 's scratching their heads wondering what's your next Darwin Award winning move.
From where I'm sitting, it's quite clear, you're next move is the attempted annexation of the entirety of eastern Ukraine. Another ridiculous referendum, directed by "patriots" flown in for the event courtesy of Poopin Airways, you know their slogan "Wherever we fly you're gonna die".
They bring ballots with two choices, the first and most obvious is to accept your very loving and kind offer of Russian affiliation. The second choice, and clearly the one most would prefer, is to be left alone.
But we all know that's not a choice is it Vlad?

$25 Hot Dogs and a Circus too

Is it any wonder that the announcement of the worlds most expensive hot dog, comes from Major League Baseball? That it's home is Chase Field? The tickets are probably $25 each, beer another $12, parking unless you took the bus is another $20, souvenir ball cap another $30...by the time your family of four leaves the park, a weeks' wages have evaporated from your wallet. You're seriously lucky if you can staunch the hemorrhage there.

Meanwhile the guys you're paying to entertain you are making millions...and those are just the scrubs sitting on the bench. The real players are making tens to hundreds of millions to play a game. As they gripe and groan about a scratch to one their four or five Bentley's; you get to worry about putting $4 a gallon gas in your 12 year old Chevy, work a real job that hasn't seen a significant growth in wages since the mid '80's, and pay a mortgage that Chase and friends are fucking you on. This is true for all American's, unless of course you're a ballplayer then your pay has gone through the roof, or if you're a government trough feeder, then your wages have stayed current with inflation. The rest of us who actually build, and make things for society are not so lucky.

The American worker has been devalued by our oligarchy to the point of near serfdom, and they could not have done so without our government making it possible. Nor would it be possible without the willingness of our citizenry to be anesthetized with sport, and circus.

So if you live in Phoenix, and go to Chase Field to watch the Dbacks, take loads of cash, credit cards, and perhaps take out a home equity loan. You don't want to hear those poor ballplayers crying about having to sacrifice a Bentley do you? Do you know how much it cost Chase to get the naming rights on that stadium?
Wonder why your rates are so high at Chase bank; why they're lobbying Congress to make Credit Unions obsolete? You need wonder no more, this shit ain't cheap, and neither are crooks like Chase CEO Jamie Dimon

Vlad Blocked Me

Surprise, surprise, surprise!! Gomer Pyle, er I mean Vlad the Inhaler has blocked the American Reality Party in Russia. Let's all say it together: " Huh?"

If I get 150 views a  month, it's a big deal, a really big deal to me personally; but insomuch as having influence, I daresay there is none. Over the past couple of years we did see quite a few readers, and even one or two comments from Russia. Haven't had one in months, not since my posts regarding the Pussy Riot debacle.

So why are you blocking me Vlad?

Is it possible your paranoia is reaching Stalinesque levels? Clearly your ego found that ground long ago; can't be long until the rest of your sociopathic personality reveals itself in full bloom. After all spring is in the air, and like a pollen based allergy, you Vlad are a nuisance to those with a penchant for breathing freely.

In fact this worldwide reaction to Putin, analogous to an allergen entering the body, is beyond apropos.
Vlad, you may think you're the antihistamine to my allergy, but it is the opposite I'm afraid.
It won't be long now before your people expel you with the force of a great and wonderful sinus clearing sneeze. Freeing the airways for the Russian and Ukrainian people to finally for once breathe free air.

Invasion Time

It's on now, the full fledged invasion of Ukraine is now fact. Vlad has no intention whatsoever of backing down. Kerry, you're wasting your breath with Lavrov, or just killing time while NATO gears up for the big stare down.

Something tells me that Vlad's been pining for this day, since he was strutting around in loaded diapers.
Raised on the valiant stories of Soviet success in defeating the Nazi's; he's been handed an opportunity in adulthood, to prove that he too, should be added to the pantheon of great leaders.

Problem is, he's dealing with a whole new reality that he has surely not grasped.
First, the nations he's lining up as foes, are his main trading partners. Not the brightest bulb in the shop Vlad.
In regimes past, the USSR, nor the czarists were as financially intertwined with the rest of the world as Russia is today.

Second, after years of mafiosi cronyism in government, and little real investment in modernizing the armed forces; you're setting yourself up for the big fail Vladdy boy. Your army could no sooner stand up to NATO, than a Boy Scout troop.

Third and not least, is the fact that truly great leadership as demonstrated by the likes of Churchill, Roosevelt, and even Stalin after the Nazi double cross of WWII, was the fact that these men rallied their people against an invasion, and the defeat of evil. They had the balls to join together two disparate antagonistic forms of government, into a formidable military alliance.

You Vlad offer just the opposite, you have no allies to your evil. Even your own oligarchy are now casting wary eyes on this folly as they fall victim to travel restrictions, freezing out of financial markets.
This is your reality Russia; Vladdy boy is leading you down a well worn path to the pits of hell, from which you will have to dig your sorry third world country out of, once again.

Haven't the past 400 years or so taught you people anything?

Vlad's Right About One Thing

While we all sit around waiting to see what Vlad will do next, kinda like ghoulishly watching a car race with the intent of seeing a crash; let's talk about why he's doing it, and why he couldn't give a rats ass about what Barry has to say.

Vlad's following a well worn script, he's smart, but he didn't write this scenario all by himself. He's simply doing what the czars did before him, he's giving Russia strategic breathing room. Difference is, the czars already colonized Crimea, and eastern Ukraine, Vlad's just reasserting those claims in areas heavily populated wth the descendants of those colonists.

Why could he give two shits if Barry and the EU condemn him?
In his mind, he's doing what's in his nations best interest, as the US does all around the globe.
One word justifies all his actions in Russia, even to those who don't agree with him, hypocrisy.

American hypocrisy, to be exact. Barry stands at the bully pulpit of the American Presidency proclaiming Putin a criminal, while the US pulls the trigger on many more illegal incursions in sovereign states. Iraq, just because Bush had a grudge, Afghanistan and Pakistan because we can, our continued occupation of Japan, Germany, England, Italy...we have bases everywhere.
What other nation has military bases in the numbers we do around the globe?
None. Not even remotely close.

Reality is America, we are not the beloved white knights of democracy and freedom around the world that our government has worked so hard to plant into your minds. Our global fight is not against terrorism or hunger, illiteracy, or even despots like Vlad. No we are hegemonists, with the sole intent of keeping our military/industrial mastery of the Earth intact.

9-11 didn't happen because everybody loves us. It happened because our government champions the oppression of other nations at the behest of our corporate elite. America didn't write the script for hegemony, we just perfected it.

So as Vlad stands before the world justifying his atrocious behavior, you have to recognize the fact that he's right, in the sense that Russia is only doing what we do, taking what we want, when we want it, from whomever has it.

That's the American Way.

Crimea River

I know the title's lame, and altogether too obvious...but then why shouldn't it be when we're discussing "Vladimir's Folly".
Clearly we were not far off the mark in our last post where we accused Vlad of slicing off a chunk of Ukraine for Mother Russia, annexation of Crimea is now a foregone conclusion. With Donetsk and Kharkiv awaiting their warm embrace from Vlad.

Speaking solely for myself, the mental image of Vlad embracing anyone makes me want to hurl.
Could it be I'm not alone?

Here's our reality America, other than sanctioning Russia diplomatically, our only recourse is to sink the Russian state economically. We did it before, and we're in a very unique position to do so again.
Given Vlad's penchant for stripping his nation of it's natural resources, and his neglect of anything remotely resembling real industry; his vulnerability is a clear and fortuitous target.

Namely, natural gas; we the US of A, sit on more gas than we can use. Pretty much more than any other country on Earth. Given a substantial joint effort of government, industry and environmentalists, we could very easily disrupt or even destroy Russia's chokehold on Europe through natural gas sales.

Think of all the gas that's just being burned off in North Dakota right now, more than one million dollars worth per day, because we did not have the foresight to build infrastructure capable of exporting that asset. As that asset goes up in smoke, so does our best weapon for putting Putin out of power.

Vlad, how long can you hold out if we suddenly flood the market with cheap gas?

I keep hearing an old Mellencamp tune in my head: "The walls, keep tumblin' down, the walls..."

Ukraine III

I knew you wouldn't let us down Vlad; that phony pretext of Russian's being threatened by Ukrainian mobs is straight out of Hitler 101. Or is it Stalin 101, maybe it's just despot 101. No real difference evil is evil anyway you slice it. The country Vlad, the way you slice the country.

Donetsk, Kharkiv... where exactly will you draw the new boundary? So exciting, sitting in the Kremlin redrawing maps at your whim. What it must be like to play king... with so many inconsequential serfs to grind to dust.

So what's your next genius move? Cut off gas to the western portion of Ukraine? Can't do that, unless you want to cut off your cash cow in the rest of Europe; you know that growing list of nations lining up to sanction you and your capos. Yes the same countries who have been supporting your regime through the trade of stolen Yukos natural gas; those same countries are looking like they may finally nut up and face you down.

Today the list of economic and political sanctions at the disposal of your trading partners far surpass those at the hands of 1930's Europe, and perhaps these same countries will finally exhibit a proactive will to prevent further episodes of "Vladimir's Folly". Point is Vlad, you're treading on thin ice, your stock market is in freefall, the ruble rumbling down the slope of equity to it's lowest point in years. All the while, you fiddle while Kiev burns.

Ukraine II

Putin, you're as predictable as the sun rising. Russian troops, and your own personal biker gang demarcating the boundaries of the new East Ukraine, was as easy to foresee as your next shirtless anti gay rant.
But really what sets you apart now is your disavowal of those forces being yours , then having a biker gang come in and announce that they represent the new boundary of Russia. Thug life much Vlad?
What's the point? You're constantly trying to portray yourself as a badass, why not wear your thuggery with the pride of a bikers colors?

Russia, what's it like to have a latter day Al Capone running your country? Hell we get lied to on a daily basis here; but you guys are expected to swallow delusional bullshit on a scale I thought was reserved for North Korea. Are you really that brainwashed, or just cowed? Either way, it's not showing you folks in the most positive light.

Reality was and remains, that Russia and the West will always be at odds; our way of life imbues our leaders with the understanding that ultimately they serve at our whim. Whilst in Russia the opposite is historically true, the people live at the whim of their dictator, be they titled czar or comrade.

Rockin' the Ukraine

Oop's didn't see this coming... right? No everyone saw this coming. Anyone paying attention that is.
Poopin's on the move. Ukraine 2014 is beginning to resemble Germany 1945 about now, at least with regard to one country becoming two, split on an East West axis. Only difference being, the devastation of war that preceded Germany's partition, is still on the horizon. Closing as fast as a cruise missile.

Anybody foolish enough to believe, for even the briefest of moments, that Vlad would allow one of Russia's last vassel states to abandon his pirate ship, has clearly walked the plank of sanity.
Mr. Poopin's about to unleash his military in a way the Chechen's and the Georgian's experienced, but with far more brutality, and far greater manpower and resources.

Poopin has used with glee, and the precision of a wrecking ball, every tool in the box including but not limited to: threats, coersion, bribery, assassination; to gather new and return lost Soviet/Czarist influence and territory to the Russian fold. (Read: his personal fiefdom.) This direct affront to his authority will be suppressed, and done so with extreme prejudice.

Ukraine is the crown jewel of the empire after Mother Russia, has been since the 17th century.
If Vlad loses Ukraine on his watch, what will his ultra nationalist facsist friends think of him, or
his ability to withstand a putsch?

No, there's a great deal more at stake here than just Ukraine walking. Vlad's very grip on power, like the grip on his penis, is tight. The question is how long can he take the pressure?
Russian citizen patriot you're now in a free fire zone, and Vlad's a dead man walking target.
Do your duty, before millions suffer for the ego of a troll.

Sucki it is...

Sorry Vlad, the votes have been tallied, a near unanimous outcome I'm afraid.
These Winter Games in Sochi are Sucki.

From the all too predictable no show of new snow, the crack head half pipe, to the tandem toilets, it's a fail.

The question is; how large a bribe did you offer the IOC to get this stupendous clusterfuck Mr. Poopin?

In a nation pretty much covered in snow and ice for much of the year, you personally selected the one venue least suitable for any winter sport.
Then the IOC signed on....?

Vlad none of us are that stupid.

At least Salt Lake City gets snow. If you're going to get with the IOC and gerrymander the process of securing a games like Mitt Rmoney did, then at least for God's sake select a location with some fucking snow.

Throw in a few hotels that are actually functioning, and you may have something there.

Sochi or Sucki?

Vlad, saw the gay men's toilet that's been getting print and airplay; I'm guessing that with all the bluff and bluster the truth has come out.
I mean with your pechant for being photographed sans shirt, like many gay men on internet dating sites, you've finally come out as a self loathing gay man who can't come to grips with his sexuality.

Much like Hitler, the self hating Jew, you feel some strange, bizarre need to persecute your own kind.
What's up Vlad?
We live in an enlightened era, well at least those of us who reside in the 21st century anyway, these old social norms are dead.
Much like the USSR you insist on reviving.
Get over it Vlad, it's over.
Sucki is the beginning of your end.

Putin: He's Gay

Here we go again, Vlad's decided to share his ignorance of people with the world one more time.
Somebody please make it the last.
Equating homosexuality with the perversion of pedophilia, only serves as an example of Putin's complete disconnect with the reality of the human condition.
Spouting stupidity like "gays must leave the children alone", leaves the First World portion of our planet to shake our heads in wondering disgust.
Vlad, today is January 18 2014, not 1914. It's far past the time when men of letters believe the nonsense you espouse.
Gay people do not have an interest in sex with kids.
That area belongs solely to a perverted group of people who prey on the innocent for their own twisted needs.
Gay people on the other hand are in search of consenting adult company.

Before you open your mouth and insert feet again Vlad, you may want to consult with advisors who have a grasp on what's real and what is not.