Mr. Brown Part 2

Just received word from my client, that after two weeks and one day; the bright new full of promise, six pound package of DMX lighting equipment I shipped from California finally, heroically arrived in Dallas, Texas. Wearing the road weary countenance of a trackside hobo shelter, my poor piece of cardboard cartonry collapsed on the shipping dock breathing it's last, destined for the burn pile.

This is Texas man, we burn all that shit!

It only travelled from Cali to Texas, back again to Cali, before wending it's way by goat path back to dynamic Big D. Land of the Great UCF Blackhole, where all worthy parcels are lost in the expanse of space populated by the especially lame and foolish.

Given the time it took to travel, the condition it arrived in, the very "special handling" attention received; one can safely assume the Pony Express rides again.
Resurrected from the graveyard of bad ideas by our friends at UCF.
How else but by rider and fastest horse(?) could we explain the amazing speed, and dedication to service we witnessed in the discharge of this duty under such harrowing conditions.
Next time for me personally I'd really really appreciate it if your rider 'er I mean driver tried tying the package down to the saddle bag rather than dragging it behind the fucking horse...

Thanks UCF, making a living in this economic climate isn't hard enough.
You're two weeks late, left me a hundred grand short, and an incredibly bad taste in my mouth for brown.

Mendocino County vs. Feds, Reality Strikes

Source: Google Images

While most of America sullenly slogs through a sixth year of recession, the likes of which we haven't  seen since the 1930's, several groups of forward thinking citizens have tasked themselves with continuing the battle against backward thinking government.

With an eye on opening an old industry to new players, while adding taxes to the treasury through entrepreneurial know how, and job creation right here at home; America has been profoundly blessed with a new generation of business and civic leaders eager to tackle two of our society's most glaring deficiencies.

First, the role marijuana plays in society; it's medical, moral, and recreational use.

Second, the elimination of the criminal cartels we allowed to take root in all of North/South American society; their continued spread to Africa in search of new consumers, and trans-shipping routes to Europe.

Suffice it to say, the troglodytes in Federal bureaucratic positions have made these endeavors harder by the moment; every time they lean back on laws promulgated by thieves (Nixon), and enforced by followers of Don Quixote (Holder, Haag). I mean what the heck, if you've got a model that's clearly dysfunctional, wasting money and lives as though they were only words, wouldn't any sane person believe that's the right path? Really?

Source: Google Images

It's the path well worn by our government; head planted firmly in a very dark place while at the same time chanting "If I can't see it, it's not true."

How refreshing would it be if we all had local leaders standing up to the Feds; as the leaders of Mendocino County are to old misguided unenforceable models of prohibition that our  retrograde relics in federal power cling to?

Get a clue Barry, instruct (with crayon stick figure drawings if need be) Herr Holder and his henchwench Haag to find more meaningful ways to blow the hard earned tax dollars they throw at the unachievable, and redirect that energy to ending the corruption that permeates our government. 

Like you've said before there are far bigger fish to fry.

Get your oil boiling brother, we want to see some action that resembles reality rather than the tragic comedy that's defined governmental position since the Marijuana Tax Stamp Act.

The Ubiquitous Mr. Brown

Source: Google Images

Everyone around the developed world is familiar with the sight of the UPS truck and driver, cloaked in baby shit brown delivering packages in various states of destruction.

Some like myself have had other, shall we say more memorable experiences with Mr. Brown; like the time they lost my banking and tax info within Los Angeles County... for more than a year!

This time however, they've really outdone their usual incompetence.

I was scheduled this past Monday to fly to Dallas for a sales presentation; one week prior to my departure I made the grave error of entrusting a shipment of my sales tools, one thousand dollars worth of DMX lighting controls, to UPS.

That shipment originating January 7, 2013 was due to arrive in Dallas, Monday the 14th of January, just in time for my $100,000 presentation, and in fact was in Mesquite Texas as of the 12th of January.
Guess what? It didn't make it.

Where is it now dear reader? Why it's on it's way to Stockton California of course! About 250 miles north of where it originated. Insert circus clown music here:
"Doot, doot doodle, doodle, doot, doot, doo doo..."

Visual Approximation

I mean if you can't read a shipping label wouldn't you decide to put that package on a cross country calliope too? UPS clearly believes that it's better to ship a package repeatedly around the nation to parts unknown, rather than pick up a telephone and call the account holder who shipped it.

That's what I call genius.

Given the nature of this company's way of doing business, I feel it necessary to promote a new name for this mismanaged freight giant.

From this day forward the UPS company shall be known as the UCF:

Unbelievable Cluster Fuck

The new company motto:

"How Can Brown Fuck You?"

                   or

"Flush Your Business Down with Mr. Brown"

Jumping Off the Fiscal Cliff

Source: Google Images

I love brinksmanship, don't you? Especially when it comes to the people we elect to run our government.

On the one hand we have Barry, standing his ground demanding that millionaires pay a tax rate commensurate to the success they've enjoyed while the tax code was gerry rigged in their favor.

On the other hand we have Boner and Co. blindly clinging to the idea that they have some kind of mandate to screw us out of the insurance we've been forced to pay into for decades. Some mandate, the only way the retardicans have the house is through the continued gerrymandering of congressional districts in mid western and southern states where a white majority still hold out hope for glory days of domination gone by.

Let's get this straight Boner, you do not have a mandate to steal the hard earned money we have all paid into the government Ponzi schemes of Medicare, Social Security, and Medicaid.

Since reduction of spending is the main thrust of the retardican effort to bring the budget in line, then why not start with your exorbitant pay and benefit package? How about shoring up Social Security by making it the retirement plan for congress? How quick will you guys go to the trough for your next boondoggle, if it's the same one feeding you?

While we're on the topic of spending cuts, how much money can we save if we re-set our defense stance to include only our borders? Why are we still occupying Germany and Japan sixty seven years after the end of World War II? Why have our leaders placed our nation into a permanent war time economy? We manufacture weaponry, and export it at far greater volume than the rest of the world combined; what happened to making things people use to enhance life, rather than ending it?
Why does our government use the media to keep us in a perpetual mental state of
"Us against Them"?

The reality is America, that we have a cabal of business and government leaders running our country who envision nothing less than a world of peons laboring for the wealthy in a bi-polar society of have and have not. The redistribution of wealth that has taken place with the decimation of organized labor, and thus our middle class, is nothing short of complete reversion to a time when our oligarchy ran roughshod over the rule of law, and the citizens the law was intended to protect.
These laws now only protect those who have the resources to influence their creation, while subjugating the masses.

Hear me now believe me later, the new push to ban assault weapons will not stop there. Adam Lanza provided our jailers with exactly the conditions necessary to invoke a weapons ban, thereby disarming a potential rebellion that would put the middle class back into it's rightful place in society. We'll hear, for a while, that we need to do something about mental health. And we will, we'll use that ruse to incarcerate those who bring into question the direction of our nation. Just as the Soviets did, and the Russians do to this day. Think Gitmo, only with American citizen prisoners, who have no rights.
You gave those up with the passing of the Patriot Act.

Ultimately, at this juncture of history we have a very serious choice to make; will we repudiate the work of Truman and Eisenhower who set us on the path of world hegemony?
Will we re-task our industry to peace time pursuits after almost 70 years of constant war readiness?
Or will we continue to allow our government to feed us bread and circuses while we bury our heads in the sands of ignorance; as we witness our middle class' evaporation like a rain fed puddle?

In reality America, this is what the cliff is all about, it's the battle for the salvation of the middle class, if we are allowed to fall off the cliff, whats left of the middle class will shrivel and die. While the wealthy just absorb a meaningless bump in their tax responsibility, the rest of us get to finance their profligate ways.
If you make less than a million a year and you voted retardican, the reason why is self explanatory.

American Tragedy: What Was Mom Thinking

As more facts come to light regarding the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School, the story becomes more tragic at every turn. One such crucial piece of information is something we should all take to heart, and act upon vigilantly.

Just revealed today, Mrs. Lanza mother of Adam who murdered 26 people, not only collected guns in a  home she housed her nut case son in, she actively pursued his education in handling firearms.
Normally I would applaud such a parental move; if any of us is to have guns in our home we should train our able minded family members in their safe legitimate use.

However when your child is troubled mentally; training that child to use a gun, or even keeping a gun where it can be obtained by that child is straight up fucking nuts.
That, as Mrs. Lanza had the extreme misfortune of discovering, was just as effective as placing the barrel of the gun at her own temple. The only difference being that twenty five other people had to die before that epiphany entered and left her dying mind.

Note to all of you who suspect you've got a family member ready to go over the deep end, it is incumbent upon you to actively participate in that individuals disarming.
If you're placing, or allowing guns to remain in the hands of the unstable, you are every bit as guilty of the crimes that person commits. Fortunately for Mrs. Lanza she doesn't have to be haunted by her sons deadly rampage, nor does she live with the consequences. That wreckage was left behind for the devastated families and community of Newtown to sift through.

American Tragedy

This last Friday December 14 2012, the world bore witness to yet another psychotic atrocity.
A young man loaded with weapons, ammo, and untreated delusions; destroyed the lives of every man woman and child in Newtown, Connecticut. After he killed his mother, and just before he terminated his own sorry excuse for existence, his actions took the lives of twenty kids in the first grade, and six adults valiantly attempting to stop the carnage.

In the aftermath of this inexplicable rampage, our society's knee jerk reaction is to regurgitate tired, old, and thoroughly disproven ideas of gun control, and prohibition of ownership of certain types of firearms.
Am I the only one looking at this from the standpoint of other failed prohibition attempts?
Why can't we as a nation face the fact that there are a very small number of us who must be institutionalized to protect the vast majority from these behaviors.

America has very little to offer it's citizens in the way of pre-emptive protection from the insane; 'twas not always the case dear reader, but due to the legal actions of certain civil liberty organizations, society's safety net of asylums for the insane has been largely dismantled. Thus we have the tragedy we had Friday; a mother out of her depth trying to homeschool a son who should have had professional help in a secure residential facility. Far from other children, weapons, and his mother who would no doubt still be alive were the option open to her.

People, we can all agree when children are senselessly massacred as they were December 14th, change must occur. But that change must not promulgate an entirely new set of problems for our society to confront. People kill people, the gun only operates at the behest of the human. If we go forward with any type of gun prohibition we blindly cast aside the lessons of our history, hard fought and often times futile.

Just a few short weeks ago,we witnessed the first strategic blow against another exercise in prohibition futility when Washington state citizens voted for the legalization of marijuana. With weed having been illegal for like 80 years, and evermore people imbibing, the reality of the situation for most forward thinkers has set in. Prohibition does not work. The genie has been out of the bottle for so long now, his descendants are intermarried with all of our clans.

The same is also true of guns in America, the reality is there are more guns floating around legally and illegally in our country now than at anytime in the history of man, that controlling them in any way is farcical in the extreme.
Ask yourselves, with all of the money and resources dedicated to the interdiction of drugs, the fact that drugs of greater variety and power are available in ever increasing quantities; what is the likelihood that a gun ban will work? Like drugs, they will only arrive in greater volume, be more powerful, and available to anyone with cash. No regulatory oversight, no taxes to pay, just one more chance for corrupt overpaid bureaucrats to look the other way while they take the gold rather than the lead.

Barry, you need to seize this opportunity to step up Barry Care to include mental health facilities that have been sorely lacking in our nation for decades. Your chief chip on the table to Boehner is the promise not to go after gun legislation. This episode should have lifted the veil from all of our eyes, it is imperative to pro-actively treat those in need rather than incarcerating or burying them and a whole bunch of others later.

Vladimir Putin; Pussy Extraordinaire

Pussy Riot, the all-female Russian punk band, jailed for singing a protest song about Putin.
Source: Google Images

"Short people got no reason..."
"They got little hands, little eyes."
"They walk around tellin' great big lies..."

Sound familiar Russia? Amazing how song lyrics reflect real life, is it not?
Clearly Randy Newman had no way of foreseeing the rise of your very own Short People: Putin/Medvedev Inc.
However, he like the rest of us who study history, has a long well documented list of mini men who became dictators from which to draw inspiration for these lyrics.
Perfect analogies to what Russia faces today.

"They got little noses, and tiny little teeth."
"They wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet..."

They have no tolerance for freedom, despise free speech.
They jail young women, who use art to teach.
They fear losing power, knowing death is at hand.
That's why they locked up the girls in the band.

Little bitty men, with tiny little hearts.
Tore young lovers and families apart.
No sense of value, chained up in pride.
Nothin but darkness and evil inside.


"They got little baby legs, that stand so low."
 "You gotta pick em up, just to say hello."

They got little baby ears stuck to tiny round domes.
Full of bad ideas for you folks back home.
You threw out the czar, and the Nazis' too.
Best kill Vlad before he gets you.