Mr. Brown Part 2

Just received word from my client, that after two weeks and one day; the bright new full of promise, six pound package of DMX lighting equipment I shipped from California finally, heroically arrived in Dallas, Texas. Wearing the road weary countenance of a trackside hobo shelter, my poor piece of cardboard cartonry collapsed on the shipping dock breathing it's last, destined for the burn pile.

This is Texas man, we burn all that shit!

It only travelled from Cali to Texas, back again to Cali, before wending it's way by goat path back to dynamic Big D. Land of the Great UCF Blackhole, where all worthy parcels are lost in the expanse of space populated by the especially lame and foolish.

Given the time it took to travel, the condition it arrived in, the very "special handling" attention received; one can safely assume the Pony Express rides again.
Resurrected from the graveyard of bad ideas by our friends at UCF.
How else but by rider and fastest horse(?) could we explain the amazing speed, and dedication to service we witnessed in the discharge of this duty under such harrowing conditions.
Next time for me personally I'd really really appreciate it if your rider 'er I mean driver tried tying the package down to the saddle bag rather than dragging it behind the fucking horse...

Thanks UCF, making a living in this economic climate isn't hard enough.
You're two weeks late, left me a hundred grand short, and an incredibly bad taste in my mouth for brown.

Disgrace of The Americas

Tell me what country's leader do you think the title of this post refers to?
Could it be Hugo Chavez of Venezuela?
As likely a target for scorn as he deservedly is, the answer is no.
Cuba's Castro? Fidel or Raul?
Neither, change is afoot on the island that has nothing to do with the embargo we've foisted on them but rather an embrace of reality after so many decades denying it's existence.

We can go on and on here critiquing the governments of our neighbors, but really why bother.
There's absolutely no reason to look beyond Washington DC for the best example the hemisphere has to offer. That's right Barry, you win.

Given an international stage to break with the tradition of past presidents posing with their heads buried in the sands of the War on Drugs. You instead chose the dubious distinction of adding your face and voice to the pantheon of fools committed to dumping untold billions of tax dollars down a sinkhole of corruption and ineptitude. In one fell swoop you threw away your one best chance to actually establish something of a positive legacy for your presidency. Simply put; all you had to do was embrace reality.

Clearly that's a tough one. Because neither you nor any of your predecessors has been able to accomplish the feat. Rather we were forced to watch the horror of our leader espousing misguided, disproved theories to disbelieving peers. Once again. All of whom stood with heads above their asses, while they watched you assume the ostrich position. Head planted firmly within a hole.

Then to top it off, after you've wagged your finger at your peers admonishing them to stay the course of the doomed ship "USS Morality", your own Secret Service team members were availing themselves of prostitutes. Without paying them. Tell me, doesn't that constitute sexual tourism? On the passport application we all fill out they specifically call out sex tourists and drug offenders.
So Barry, how does it feel to have sex tourists travelling as part of your protection detail?
Under the cover of diplomatic immunity?
All the while you tell your cohorts that the moral war of America's choosing goes on regardless of the suffering inflicted on their people.

Disgrace indeed.

Political Cartoon Sourced from: http://politicalhumor.about.com